Pass and Aggregate : Chapter 17 Balancing Act

Chapter 17: Balancing Act

Prayers being listened by God and I being drenched by the eternal flow of love, was an experience which cannot be narrated by mere words. There are certain surreal feelings which cannot be explained or talked about, passion being one of them. We were getting close yet we were far, there was still space of few silences between us. Many of you might be wondering what would have happened post the ‘Chivalric Kiss’, yes the kiss was one of the blunders that I committed. I being not so sure of her reaction kissed her on the forehead, just trying to play safe, but when the next occasion of kissing her came she offered her forehead again and that was preposterous according to me. An act of chivalry but leading to the path of the grave was uncalled for. Instead of being rewarded for my demeanor, I was being punished. Do not judge me as some kind of lecherous fellow who was interested in a kiss but I just thought that she did not trust me with a sweet kiss how would she trust me with her life and that was hurtful. I knew we had our boundaries and the family culture, Indian ethos but still it was a matter of her conviction and confidence in me which I thought was far from being complete.

I thought of talking to her on those lines but either she was not getting my point or she was acting of not getting my point, she just gave me a smile, the meaning of which could not be deciphered, she always left her sentences incomplete while speaking on the subject and I kept on wondering like a student in the examination hall “What went wrong this time?”  Girls are indeed complicated; you can never know what is cooking in their mind. At times when I thought I made a witty remark even the slight smirk on her face took away the glory of my sarcasm and when I thought she was making fun of me she was actually trying to pamper me with her tender words.  

The stint in Ahmedabad was good at a personal level; it was a sort of awakening of me. True love can often have a liberating influence on one self and I too felt liberated. We met daily and any day when we could not meet appeared to be longer than usual. The city of Ahmedabad to me was like City of love, Paris. We used to go to the parks, the lakes, the malls and the cafés; everything was so far so good except a tension was playing all along on my mind and that were my exams which were too close. Although I tried studying but work and my love affair kept me busy and whatever little time I could take out from it was spent in teaching my sister, who was already upset about the number of hours I was spending with Anushka.

“I am going to tell mom, that you are not studying and you are simply wasting your time and energy and money on Anushka” said Akshayaa teasing me.

Time and energy was not wasted, time was invested and energy was rechanneled, money I don’t think was much to be argued upon as we always shared the bill, so why was my darling sister so spiteful towards my girl.

“Dare you say a word about her, I swear even I have quite a few material in your respect which I would not mind sharing with Mom” I said in a rhetoric tone, trying to remind of her boyfriend on the campus.

Akshyaa was baffled for a second; she never thought I could be so venomous; I behaved like a little kid who was out there to protect his toys. Even I never thought I could be so possessive about Anushka.

“Aditya, you are so dead, I will never forgive you all I wanted to tell you was that you should study, only four months are left before you give your exams” Akshyaa said, sounding very harsh.

She was right, and this comment made me more nervous than ever. I had to think of my career. After all ‘Romance is the privilege of rich not the profession of unemployed’. I had to now take my career seriously over other things; I had to do a balancing act. In life we all should strive to attain a balance, since a situation of extremes is neither suitable nor desirable. I had no idea how would I do it but I had to do it.

 The next time when I met Anushka I told her about the meeting that transpired between me and Akshyaa. I thought she would be angry but surprisingly she was calm, composed and said “Aditya, I can understand the anxiety of your sister and whatever she says is true, so as a solution now we will meet twice a week rather than on daily basis”.

I could not utter any word that day, because I wanted to be with Anushka but my studies were also on priority list. I simply nodded to her suggestion. After that day we met rarely although we agreed meeting twice a week but the meetings became few. I was lost in work and studies; I had huge books, voluminous data to study, to comprehend and to grasp. I even took a coaching at the insistence of Jignesh which was helpful.

I was confused about my relationship status, on certain occasions I felt Anushka was avoiding me and at times I felt everything was normal, we chatted on Facebook but more often we disagreed and fought for no sane reasons, and all the time was spent on fighting and than making up.

Once, while chatting on Facebook she revealed to me.

“Do you know Aditya, you resemble to a very handsome looking journalist on a News Channel, and when I saw you I could almost connect to him…”

And before she could complete her sentence I was surrounded by the green eyed monster, I was so jealous, I mean she was trying to tell me that she liked me because I resembled a spectacled, over the top, shouting and excited news anchor. I despised this anchor so much; he was so authoritarian and never allowed his guests to speak but to my sweet heart he was the most dashing, quick witted humorous and nationalistic figure, she never chatted during his show. To counter her I showed my penchant for movie actresses or even Shruti but she never showed her covetous side. I still do not know whether she was actually above the vices and sins of envy and jealousy or she kept those feelings to herself to irritate me even further.

I being a man and men being rational fools kept on analyzing her behavior towards me which oscillated between ‘I am her good friend’ to ‘I am her special friend’ and when I dared to ask her to define my position in her life she started crying which though was not intended but she being a woman and women being sentimental fools tears were sure to follow.

My relationship of almost three months had to face another onslaught in near future and that was long distance. The audit ended and I had to report back to Mumbai. Anuskha had three more months before she returns to Mumbai after her internship with a News Paper in Ahmedabad.

I was meeting her for the last time before I appear for my exams; we met at Drive-in, the open air Cinema. When I broke the news of going back to Anushka she had tear in her eyes, and pardon me but those tears somehow were exhilarating to me, though I was not driving any sadistic pleasure but at least they symbolized her affection for me.

“Do study, and please do not take any tension, you will definitely come out with flying colors’”, She said.

I just nodded, last three months flew by so soon, I thought. So much has changed, it seemed like a fairy fiery tale full of its ups and down, twists and turns but still it was worth every bit of it. I had balanced the relationship well along with work and my studies and I was proud of it, Anushka was equally supportive and I patted myself on back for having selected her.

Just few minutes before the movie ended, she took me by hand. I was surprised because she never had been a domineering person and before I could even comprehend what was happening I ultimately received my farewell gift. It was good while it lasted, even later if I may say so. Without going into the details I would just reveal the curse of ‘Chivalric Kiss’ was over. 

Pass and Aggregate : Chapter 16 Prayers Heard

Chapter 16: Prayers Heard

Beginning in Ahmedabad began on a sad note with Anushka departing and the amazing journey coming to an end. Still there was hope of meeting her again. Although it was premature to predict a romance while I just had embarked on a friendship note yet something told me that the journey has started. My prior experience with love was not a very remember able affair but that had not dither me from reentering the world of ardor with new zeal and enthusiasm.

My thoughts of romance were cut short by the accountant Jignesh who came to receive me at the Bus Stop.

“So how was your journey?” asked Jignesh.

I just answered “Good” (remembering Nagendra Rao’s instruction to behave in an ‘appropriate manner’).

Ahmedabad was not a big city like Mumbai or Delhi but there was something charming about it. The sun shone brightly and it signaled the mercury that would be reaching during the day. I was exhausted and although I had the best journey of the life time still I was tired.  I kept on thinking about Anushka during the passage to the guest house from bus stop but that never provided me the respite from the blazing sun.

After reaching the guest house I thought maybe an hour nap before beginning the work would be good enough for me, but ‘Employee proposes Boss Disposes’. My boss called me within fifteen minutes of my reaching the guest house. I was taking the bath while the phone rang; I thought it might be Aakshya asking my whereabouts in her city but no my boss was more concerned than my sister and they say blood is thicker than water.

“So have you reached the guest house?” asked boss in his eternal rude and dominating tone.

“Yes ….Sir, Good Morning”. I replied while I was drying myself with the towel, yet still soaked in the fresh droplets of instantaneous infatuation.

“Now go and start the work, remember I want you to complete the work as soon as possible and please do not procrastinate.” said Gupta.

“Yes Sir, I will try”, I meekly replied.

“I want to see the results, do you get it”, he told and then disconnected the call. It was his usual way of talking over phone. I mean he never realized how rude he was and most of the times he lacked the basic etiquette and manners of a telephonic conversation.

The day ahead was busy and tiresome, learning the process of the company for the audit and then trying to figure out the way in which I could start the same, I was lost over and over again in the labyrinth. I continued going over the audit documents of last year and the instructions I got from my office.

“Sir we will have the lunch at the Canteen (to be read as ‘Kaen teen’, in total Gujarti accent) before I show you the rest of the documents” asked Jignesh closing the files on my table. He was visibly hungry so I agreed for the lunch at the canteen of the company.

It was during the lunch when Akshyaa called up.

“Where are you Anna, you should have called me, I am waiting since morning………” and Akshyaa continued with one way traffic and without punctuations till I interrupted “I am Sorry, but now I have to go and I will come to meet you in evening, and then you can give me sermons of do’s and dont’s ”.

The food was edible yet excessively sweet and I almost felt that I was gorging on the dessert instead of the main course. Although Jignesh was jingoistic about the Gujarti food, at the table he almost convinced me that the Gujarti food is the best in the world and in near future it would overcome the popularity of Chinese and Italian and Mexican gourmet. It was his attempt to convert me from a Tam Brahm to a Gujarti, although that is a task impossible since Tamils are too proud to even consider that yet Jignesh’s sweetness was overpowering than the sweetness in the food.

I was meeting Akshyaa after a long time; she was the same yet appeared different.  She had transformed her looks and appeared more trimmed and smarter. She took me inside the temple of the highest education in India, IIM Ahmedabad. It was a normal place although I seriously believe that they should get their wall plastered and coated but according to Akshyaa the brick structure gave more aesthetic appeal to the institute.

“Anna, Thank God you are here now you are going to help with the Accounts and Finance stuff, it is so boring I cannot do it”, Akshyaa remarked while showing off the book in her hand while I was at the guided tour of the world famous institution.

And for me this moment was once in a life time situation, the dinosaur was finally scared of something and she asked me for help. The feeling that surmounted me was in no way lesser than the feeling one could get after winning an Oscar, I knew that never in life this moment would ever occur again, and I wanted to seize the opportunity before she changes her mind.

I said “Yes dear I am here to help (in a tone of triumph), Accounts is like part of me, and I will help you out. She smiled sarcastically and I was handed over the book there itself. Looking at the book my over the top reaction disappeared and I said “Now please let us go for dinner, I am really hungry”. Both of us went out for the dinner in perfect cordial way although that was unusual. We talked of everything right from her classmates to my officemates, my work to her assignments, her infatuation to my fascination. I realized that Akshyaa was now more of a friend than of the irksome sibling. She was more understanding and less critical of me. Maybe someone has rightly remarked that siblings are the in house version of friends.

Leaving her to the hostel and returning to the guest house, I thought of Anushka. I decided to call her up to say a good night but my ambitions got a jolt soon since I lost the paper on which she had written her number. My whole thoughts from friendship to dating and then may be to a happy ending came to a standstill. My carelessness cost me dearly; I was flabbergasted and kept on blaming myself for the recklessness. In just few moments I became upset and I called up Akshyaa as she was the only one who knew of my latest craze about Anushka.

“What you lost her number, wow! You are such a pathetic creature, a girl handout you her number and you in the feeling of ecstasy lost the only contact you had of her” she exclaimed.

She was right but her approach was not. I fail to understand when confronted with a grim situation the fairer sexes always want to evaluate “What happened wrong in the past”? But not “What can we do in future”? I neither liked this thing about my mother nor about Akshyaa. May be even during an earthquake they will try to analyze which seismic activity lead to the earthquake rather than running away from the affected place.

“I know”, I said almost crackling up under the intense pressure of losing the number and my sister’s scolding.

“Now please try to search her on Facebook” she suggested.

“Hmmm, ok I will, good night and take care”. I said cutting the conversation.

Facebook is not a bad idea, these days almost everyone from our age is using the social networking site, “but what if she does not exist in the networking world”, I thought. And even if she does, how would I search someone with the name ‘Anushka Patel’, I mean it is a common name these days, and what if she wants to search me, even ‘Adithya Iyer’ is a pretty common name these days I thought. My parents should have kept a more uncommon name for me and even her parents were at fault I thought. But I was determined to search her and with so many questions in mind I logged on to Facebook. As predicted there were 500+ people with that name on Facebook.  I tried searching few profiles but being much tired I slept only to hope that I find her by all means as soon as possible.

The next day at work was even more demanding, the end of my work was not in sight and my search of the perfect soul mate was now lurking somewhere behind, with every passing day the searches on profile were not yielding any result, I kept on refining results but she has disappeared without any trace. I had lost all hopes on finding her. Days just flew by and it was ten days after which I landed in Ahmedabad that I got Facebook friend request from none other than Anushka, I could not believe my eyes, after so many frantic profile searches and endless wait I finally was able to reconnect with her.

I added her as a friend and while I was viewing her profile I got a message from her on the Facebook Chat 

Anushka Patel: Hi Adithya

Where d hell r u?

I thought I will get a call from you on d same day…..

Me: Hiiiiiii, Sorry but I lost the number L, bt hw r u??

Anushka Patel: No yaar, I dnt believe u, u were avoiding me L, even I searched and found you out, you could hv done same.

Me: Trust me Anushka, plz trust me I tried and on daily basis I searched profiles but I could not find u, u can go over the history of my laptop.

Anushka Patel: No, hw can I trust u, who loses a grls number dese days ?

Me : Plz forgive me dis time, can I take u out for Coffee and we make up. It is a date. (I was praying so that she says yes, but somewhere deep in my heart, I knew she will not refuse).

Anushka Patel: Ohkay, yes, I wud pick u up this Saturday where and what time???

Me: Funny.

Anushka Patel: And what is so funny abt it???

Me: I mean a guy and grl on date and girl picking up d guy……

Anushka Patel: dat is such a Chauvinist comment Adithya. I m rethinking on my decision to go on a date wid u.

Me: No, plz I am sorry again, okay pick me up at 6:00 clock, Saturday evening from Law Garden.

Anushka Patel : okay now give ur number to me rt now, bcoz I give u who knows u might lose it again.

Me : no plz, my number 98*******4, and plz give me a missd call.

Anushka Patel: Sure and now I am going off to sleep it is late.

I saw the time and it twelve at the night, she gave me a missed call and I saved it on my mobile. I was ecstatic after the Chat and now I had to wait till Saturday, and today was Thursday. A sense of anxiety surrounded me; I could not believe what was happening around me. But somehow Shruti reappeared in my mind, maybe I was so hurt that I needed a closure and though time had elapsed but the wound remained. I always thought that I would never fall for anyone again but I constantly prayed to God to heal me of the ill feelings that I bore and carried. I was in two minds, on one hand I became unsure of my decision to date Anushka, I thought maybe I am just rushing into things, on other hand I wanted to give a try. Finally I tossed and it said ‘Heads’ which meant I was not going on a date. But that is not a rational way of thinking so I had to go, and so I went. No risk no gain was the last thought that came to my mind.

That day Anushka picked me up, I was not so sure of sitting behind a girl on a two wheeler but then I hardly got time to think, I was taken to this posh urban café which has replaced the old places of romance. The cafés these days have certain homogeneity about their interiors, their menus and the crowd which come to enjoy their lattes or espresso. When we entered the café it was the same stereotyped setting with an uninspiring environment but thankfully the August Company was a respite.

“You know, Aditya (Bang on pronunciation), I simply like this café.” She said, trying to figure out a good seat for us. “There” she said pointing to a corner; it was a secluded place comparatively. We sat there talking endlessly; I don’t remember what we were talking about but it was one of the finest conversations that I had in my life. She appeared so calm and composed yet excited enough to have the spark while she spoke and I was mesmerized rather enchanted with her aura, with every passing second I liked her even more, I wanted to possess her. I know it sounds rather lecherous but I confess that I just wanted her to be with me. Our conversation had silences too but I guess the eyes talked when the lips were silent, and then it was time to leave. I felt a piercing pain while we were leaving the café, the place which according to my standards was an over rated place suddenly was pinnacle of romance. My fable for that night was nearing to an end and now I was in a dilemma to kiss or not to kiss. Kiss is a small word but it implies a lot. It is the worst kind of predicament a guy can ever go through but I guess almost every guy would have gone through it. My mind was working at a blazing speed but heart had stopped beating.

“Should I ask her? No a kiss has to be spontaneous, girls like it that way, but what if she is not ready as yet, and then she decides never to see me again, after all it is our first date, and what if she wants a kiss but if I back out she considers me as a spineless loser, good for nothing fellow but then again girls are complicated souls we are new friends and being friendly is different from sharing a kiss because you can seldom return to being just friends” I was philosophizing all this while we were walking towards the parking.

“So why are you quiet? Say something” she said.

“Hmm, nothing it was my one of the best evenings of my life, but sadly it ended” I replied in rather quiet and somber tone without actually revealing about the whirlpool of temptations going inside my mind.

“So are you going to end your finest evening like that?” She asked.

Looking confused I asked “What do you mean, I…”, before I could even complete my sentence she stood on the tip of her toes and kissed me on my cheek. The whole world around me stood still, “Was this the green signal, should I now kiss her” I thought.

Returning back to her normal elevation after the small peck she was looking away from me, just then I held her hand and kissed her. No it was not on the lips but on the forehead. The moment was magical and it was exhilarating too. But after the kiss she hardly spoke, the silence killed me; I kept on wondering what went wrong, she just said ‘bye’ while leaving me at the guest house.

My anxiety was not sparing me, I felt so low, and when I got a SMS from Anushka, my heart skipped a beat, with trembling hands I picked up the mobile and read the message.

The message just said “Thanks, your kiss on the forehead was least expected but most memorable, you have swept me off the floor with your chivalry, I think I like you more than a friend”.

Love once again knocked my door and I was there to welcome it whole heartedly. Few feelings cannot be explained love is one of those feelings; it can surprise you, shock you, stun you and change your perspective towards life for positive. After being dejected in love once I never thought I would trust anyone with my heart and it would only be leap of faith for me to ever look out for love. I always prayed to God to heal me and finally God started hearing my prayers.

Pass & Aggregate Chapter 15 New Begnnings

Chapter 15: New Beginnings

Future was a matter of huge concern when I was posted to Ahmedabad for Audit purpose. All my friends in Mumbai were going to start with the coaching class as CA Final exams were just 6 months away, but I had no strategy to approach my studies and on top of it I was being posted to an alien city for 3 months at a stretch. I was sure that I will miss out on my studies. My parents once again tried to convince me to come back to Delhi, where I could have continued my articleship and attended coaching even while living in the luxury of my home. After giving a exhaustive thought I declined the suggestion, which later I thought was one of the biggest mistake of my life but I still continued with my plan of suicide.

“Ahmedabad is not that alien place, after all Akshyaa is staying in that city for a year.” I said consoling myself while I was collecting audit related documents from the office before finally leaving for the destination of my punishment.

“Have you taken all the necessary documents?” asked Nagendra Rao.

I just shook my head.

“And you are staying there at the guest house of the client, so it would be better if you could behave yourself in an appropriate manner” Nagendra retorted.

“Appropriate manner?” I asked, wondering when my behavior was inappropriate.

“You are not arguing with me, should I talk to Mr. Gupta about it” he said in his usual dominating tone.

I was in no mood to fight with the sly snake; I just wanted to leave the place to have some breathing space far from the cubicles and the piles of office files, far from the villains and vamps of our office.

I said “ I have taken all that is needed and yes I will behave in an APPROPRIATE (stressing on the word) way during my stay at Ahmedabad.”

While I was coming out of the office, each and everyone was looking at me with sympathy, I knew the audit at Ahmedabad was considered as somewhat like the ‘Saaza- E – Kaalapani’, no I am not hyping or overstating but this was a general perception in the office, the most notorious article was given the audit. Even Pinkesh Patel came and patted on my shoulder and gave a glance that is seldom given in the moments of happiness. The immense burden of work, no social contacts and extreme weather made this audit the harshest amongst all. Either in those three months the person would improve in levels of sycophancy or would leave the office permanently, in either case it was a win-win situation for the management. In military terms I was being given ‘Code Red’ as given in US Army to discipline the soldiers.

Kripal came to see me off at the Bus Stop, he sympathized with me, he also suggested me to leave the office and return to Delhi but I do not know what made me stick to the ground. May be deep in my heart I was expecting a new beginning away from my office.

It was late at night when the Non AC Coach started towards Ahmedabad. I was lost in my thoughts till my co passenger requested me for a seat change.

“Can I sit on the window seat” she asked.

My deep thought process came to a arrest; I could not have said no that would not have been chivalrous and civilized. Although I hate sitting on aisle (especially when travelling without an AC) seat still I exchanged the seat with her.

“Where are you going”? she asked.

“Ahmedabad” I replied.

“Oh! Where in Am-daa-baad”? She stressed on each and every syllable trying to correct my pronunciation of her beloved city.

“I have no idea, but some place called Navrangpura, you see I am new to the place someone will come to receive me.” I blurted.

“You are going for the first time to Amdabad, I am sure you will love it, by the way are you on personal or professional trip”? She continued interrogating me.

“Professional” I replied.

“So what is your name?”She asked again.

“Adithya Iyer”.

“Oh Tamilian” she said in a guessing tone.

“Yes”. I said. She was from the rare species who said Tamilian and not the usual Madrasi and I give her full points for that.

I am Anushka Patel and I am doing Masters in Mass Communication from……………….., ” she kept on talking endlessly.

I was replying her in monosyllables trying to put across my point that I was getting bored by her volley of questions but people rarely try and understand this point. She kept on asking me questions and by the time we left Thane I guess she inquired a lot about me.

She was a restless and talkative too, overtly friendly, prying and intrusive creature. When my signs of discomfort and anxiety were not conveyed to her I thought maybe I have to follow a new tactic to keep her mouth shut. I adopted her method of communication; I kept on posing questions to her, I thought maybe she will get exhausted and would sleep but on the contrary she was energized. During this conversation I realized that even I started enjoying the talk game with.

For the first time in my life I was talking to a stranger with complete ease and without any pretensions. I do not remember when for the last time I spoke to someone at such a length. We kept on talking like long lost friends; obviously my sense of irritation and prejudice vanished soon. It was never my cup of tea to approach some complete stranger and begin a talk like that, but she had some magic, a certain aura which was very friendly and encompassing. She was like a live cracker yet she had certain depth about her persona which was attractive.

I don’t know when both of us slept while talking to each other but my sleep abruptly ended when the Bus made a halt somewhere. It appeared that there was some technical glitch; I got down from the bus to inquire about the break down.

“How long will it take?” I asked.

“May be an hour or so” the driver replied.

I stretched my arms and took a deep breath while looking at the road. It was around 3 a.m and it was a full moon night, it was lonely out there with few exceptions of other vehicles passing by. I got inside the bus after I was satisfied that I could do nothing to make the bus start. I came back to my seat, my co passenger was sleeping; this was the first time when she was quiet since we first began the journey.

She had wrapped herself in the shawl which she was carrying; while her head was tilted a lock of her hair touched her lips and moon shone brightly on her face which had a beam, she was looking beautiful and poetic. Her breathing had a perfect rhythm in it, she appeared at peace with herself, personification of beauty she appeared to me and I could not take my eyes off her. For few seconds I drifted away in another world but the waft was temporary as she woke up breaking the spell, and there she was effervescent and vivacious.

“Why have we stopped?” she asked getting up from her carefree slumber.

I still regaining from my reflections and looking at her dimples while she spoke could just murmur “some technical glitch”.

“So what are you doing, watching me, while I sleep” she questioned me in a tone of jest.

“No, I have better work: I retorted, but deep in my heart I knew I was looking at her and I was not ashamed of it.

“I am joking Aditya, do not take it seriously and now please go to sleep so that when you wake up you have reached Ahemadabad” she said.

“Yes Goodnight, Anushka”.

It was 8 in the morning when we reached Ahmedabad, the sun shone at its brightest. It was hot early in the morning.

As soon as the bus reached the stop and everyone started getting down to collect the luggage, even we got down and collected ours. I was dumbstruck, I had no idea how do I take her contact number and while I was wondering how to approach her with my request, she quickly gave me a chit and said “I know you have too big an ego to ask me my number so please take my number and give me a call whenever you feel or if you have any problem in Ahmedabad”.

Before I could say anything to her she was gone. Please do not take this as end it was a new beginning.

Pass and Aggregate Chapter 14: Friendship or Success

Treasure stories and the fables took a back seat in coming days; most of the time was in activities of the office. As the date of filing of returns was near the whole office was in rapid mode, except one man, the joker of our office, Nagdev Nageshwar Rao. By the way I want to clarify by use of the word joker I never meant the clown or buffoon; I can only imagine him to be the desi version of Joker from the Batman series. He sprung up from anywhere, from the corners of the office to the canteen benches; he rose when ever in the dark alleys of office there were secret meetings and slight air of harmless gossip. He was the Hench man of our boss, his pet, who had all the authority in the world with only one responsibility, and that was to keep our boss updated and appraised about the nefarious and shoddy activities(harmless as per my standards). His designation suggested that he was Chief Manager Personnel but we knew his actual designation was that of a Chief Spy. He was a schizophrenic and a maniac. We always feared for our lives while he was around, no one dared him but behind his back he was ridiculed. He was not alone in his pursuits of espionage; he was accompanied by Mayank his burly and husky partner in crime. We at office always thought his role was more like a bouncer in some discotheque. My personal equation with these two guys was not great but neither the less it was sound than most of the others around me.

But that equation was short lived when once I was called inside the Den of the Don, I meant our boss Gupta’s cabin. Gupta was sitting on his chair and was pre occupied with some papers, Nagdev was standing next to his chair, looking at me, and Mayank sat at the chair. There was pin drop silence; the deafening silence started having its impact on me. I thought I had committed some crime and if few moments I would be asked to reveal my last wish before being finally guillotined. I kept on thinking about my recent misadventures which would have resulted in such a congregation of the top notches of our office, but no such misadventure crossed in mind at that point of time.

“Sit down” Gupta said.

I could barely move, but I somehow gathered the courage to pull the chair towards me and made myself seated.

“So Nagendra told me, that you are working really well these days, haan, do you want to take over this office?” said Gupta said still writing something on paper.

I had this mixed reaction, and then I asked myself “why would Nagendra praise anyone, ohhh but I am being praised, am I?”

Gupta had finished writing and was staring me; I was not expecting such a conversation and was caught unaware. I gave the dumbest smile along with a hint of confused expression.

I said “No Sir”.

“That mean you are not working hard” Gupta asked in his typical Mogambo style.

“Yes Sir” I said in my confused state.

Gupta raised his brow again; I was getting nervous and fidgety.

“Look Adithya, I don’t want to beat around the bush, I would straight away come to the point, I think you have all the qualities to become a leader, and where ever you lack I am there to help you and guide you, you are like my own son, although there might be a few things which I am very particular about, like discipline and work but you know that has made me stood out in the crowd.”

I was getting a bit restless.

He continued “I think you should now concentrate more on office administration rather than wasting your time with those good for nothing fellows”.

I got the whole moot point at once; he was against my mingling with Kripal, Samir and Tushar. They were the biggest critics of Gupta, disliked Mayank and despised Nagendra. And I was becoming close to them. My proximity with them was a source of soreness amongst the administration.

“Don’t you think that these fellows are not your worth, I mean last week I don’t know why Tushar said something which was not in good tastes.” said Gupta, giving me a grin.

I was very much the part of that conversation where Tushar said some stupid joke about Gupta and Nagendra, but all the laughter died when Mayank appeared at a distance. He sensed something was going on which was about the High Command. He took the matter with Gupta and Rao, a conference was held, and I, being considered as the weakest link was called in pierce the veil of the Secret Society for Gupta Bashing.

Earlier Mayank too was the member of this gang but he became a mole in the secret society and blurted quite a few secrets out, puncturing the whole concept of secrecy. Not much damage was done as the Chief of the society; Dushyant Mittal left the office before the episode could take an ugly turn. Thereafter the society or laughing club met for the bashing occasionally, hardly ever in the office to pretend normalcy and discipline in the office. Gupta and his gang was not bad but they were the management and we were the workers and believe me these two sides can never ever come as one side, in spite of the various sermons by F.WTaylor, Henry Fayol or any other management Guru for that matter.

I for once was numb, but at times when we are pressurized to an extent we react to that pressure in an inexplicable manner.

I blurted “I have no idea Sir, of Tushar saying anything which was not good for the office as whole”.

“Is it???” asked Gupta continuing his impish grin.

Mayank interrupted “Than what were you talking in the office corridor, on last Saturday?”

“IFRS” I said.

“What IFRS, you are fu****g lying” retorted Mayank.

“Mayank, next time I will throw you out of my office if you use such cuss words” said Gupta, in a strong tone.

“Now go out” and pointing towards a file “Prepare the project report now”, “Nagendra go along with him, and talk to the client about the discussion we had with the bank officials.”

After both of them left, Gupta came near me and stood near my chair placing his hand on my shoulder he continued “Friendship is good, but you have to start differentiating between the personal and professional world. “

My throat was dry; I still could not understand the criticality of the foolish joke, to me it was just a part of office grapevine and for Gupta and Co, this was the largest scandal of our office.

All I said was “I understand that sir and I appreciate your view point”.

“No you don’t, problem is you don’t understand, Adithya your generation has disappointed me. Do you see the empire that I have created” he said this while raising his arms and showing me the magnanimity of his office.

I was about to laugh, he was talking as he was ‘Mukesh Ambani’, and was showing me his ‘Antilla’ I mean looking at him and the dingy cubicles I literally thought he has lost it all but jokes and observations apart this was something serious which I could not follow.

I just nodded in an affirmative.

“I have created this empire and I reached this position only after stepping on the shoulders of the people I knew and called as friends”. Adithya, we have to keep our emotions at bay, to reach at the top and to become something big in life”

The color of my face changed, I guess I became pale. I never thought he was so serious about a miniscule office joke that we shared and now he was after me to reveal the joke. I was now standing at a cross roads, whether to reveal the joke and enjoy my stay at the office or to face the music and be prepared for anything that comes.

I chose not to reveal anything, I mean what if I revealed the joke Tushar will be reimprimanded or Gupta will throw Tushar out of the job but I knew Tushar was not going through a very good phase at personal level to handle such a stress so I just said “Sir, friendship to me is sacred. I do not think anything said on that day was against the basic ethos, that you are trying to inculcate in us.”

I did not stop there my big mouth continued “And, Sir I am not a parasite who grows on others”. This was it, I knew I am behaving a little too big for my shoes but what is done cannot be undone.

He said nothing, he just sat on his seat and looked at me for few seconds and then asked me to leave.

A feeling of triumph filled inside me, it was not my pride which took a thumping but it was my stand to protect my principles, which made me joyous.

But that joy was short lived, the next day I was asked to go on outstation audit to Ahmedabad. Don’t get me wrong but it was the punishment awarded to me.

You might be thinking I should have revealed the joke, even I felt the same when I was packing for my Ahemadabad Adventures but at times ego kills and yes I was killed by My ego.

Even if I survived by my ego’s slaughter I would have been killed by Ahemadabadi heat in the future.

Pass and Aggregate Chapter13: My own Space

Chapter 13:My own Space

City like Mumbai can boasts of its greatness but if it writes an autobiography of itself, it might regret the pigeon-hole like residences that it offers to most of the people. If one need a spacious and decent and low cost residence here than that person would be day dreaming in all probability. After settling down in my office I started searching for the accommodation. I was not alone in this pursuit of searching but was accompanied by Kripal, my friend, colleague and guide. Kripal was staying in Mumbai since one year but he had to shift because of the enormous distance he had to travel for work. 

Finally our search ended in a small Paying Guest accommodation. Although it was not luxurious but was fairly decent and going by the rent that we had to shell out, our pockets were not unhappy.

“Appa, I managed to get a good place”, I told my dad over the phone. After coming to Bombay it was a routine or rather a religious routine to call my parents at least twice every day. No sooner I left for Bombay; Akshyaa got selected in IIM, Ahmedabad and moved out. Now my parents were all alone. My mother at times felt so lonely at home that she would often cajole me to come back to Delhi but I was firm to face the city in all my might.

Our residence was in Kalina, it is a place near the Airport. Although the place was a small and the area was ordinary but somehow I still liked it.

The PG was owned by a Maharashtrian guy named Shri Ramjirao Patil who was a small time politician in Satara. He had purchased the flat for his only son Vishnurao Patil, who was working in Mumbai. Vishnu was not a great guy but he was not bad either albeit strange, mostly he kept to himself except for the day of rent when he sat and chatted with us for few minutes. I always have opinion about everyone right from the people I meet in trains and buses to all my friends and co-workers but I never had an opinion about this guy. He came home late and by the time we left for office he was sleeping in his bed. To me he was hardly existent.

Although Vishnu was absent most of the times but the most noteworthy accessory of that place was Karsan kaka, the house keeper. He was very old, I mean even the fold on his skins, and the frown on his forehead appeared older than the ‘Gateway of India’. He was a Gujrati and had come to Bombay 65 years ago from Gujarat to become a Bollywood hero. Obviously he could not become one but going back from Bombay is never the case for anybody who has once landed here. He was very interesting person and erudite too. He became a cook, and worked at several places. He was so good at cooking food and stories. I would often listen to him in rapt attention but I never believed those stories, to me those were the wild imagination of the senile masterpiece of the house. “Sachi Kahoon Chu!” (I am speaking the truth!)  He would often exclaim shaking his head in affirmative after finishing some story. He knew I hardly believed him but he always emphasized that they were true. 

But those were interesting stories. I remember that night when he told me a story. Karsan Kaka started at once “In the year of 1954, I was working at a Historian’s house. The Historian was an old Retired History Professor called William Scott. After the British left India in 1947 the Professor stayed back, for he was in search of a treasure. According to the Professor, once a young British man was in India for search of a lost treasure, he was a gold digger. The young lad whose name was Andrew Hobart was able to find the lost treasure in the jungles of Madhya Pradesh. But while he was on his voyage back to England he died in mysterious circumstances on board of the vessel Queen Mary. No one knew the reason of his death. Was it some conspiracy to kill him or was it some unknown disease that he encountered in India. There was no sign of any treasure in his belongings. Although it was a widely reported case in the colonial days and was also a very popular topic amongst the social circles at coffee tables yet it never reached a conclusion.” 

All of a sudden Karsan Kaka started coughing “old age” he remarked, he continued after clearing his throat.

 “My master, William found the diary that belonged to Andrew Hobart from a scrap dealer in the year 1942, 20 years after Andrew Hobart died. He bought the diary at 50ps from the scrap dealer.”

“What 50 paise”! Kripal exclaimed.

“It was a big amount in those days for an old book at the scrap dealer” said kaka.

“After he read the diary Professor found that Andrew Hobart never took full the treasure with him but he hid it somewhere so that he could arrange for the logistics to take away the treasure. But he died. Those days they never kept the dead body at ship, they might have thrown him into the sea after his rituals, the diary would have been in his belongings which were thrown with him and thus the diary would somehow made it to shore and was kept with scrap dealer till master found it.”

 “The diary was not in the best of its condition; the Professor had to read it and made notes out of it. Few things that he was able to conclude from the diary was, Andrew Hobart stayed at Taj Mahal Hotel after discovering the treasure, which was proof enough that he had found something in value that allowed him to stay in the luxurious hotel. The other thing and the more important thing was that he had hidden the treasure in some vicinity of Taj Mahal Hotel. The actual place of treasure was either not written or the page was not found. Andrew Hobart mentioned about the Gateway of India and also drew a sketch of the Gateway in his diary. Professor was sure that the treasure was somewhere near the Gateway. He made frequent rounds of the gateway, often sitting there till late at night.”

“When I started working for him, he never talked to me much but later I became his student as well as his friend. He even taught me English and gave me books to read. I liked working with him. He was a loner, his wife died long ago and his only daughter was married off in London. I never saw her. The Professor was sure that treasure was buried under one of the big stones that surrounded the gateway but he had no idea how Andrew Hobart could hide it.”

“Once in the lazy summers of May, I was sleeping under the tree when Professor called me, I went running towards his room”.

“I know Karsan, Andrew had in fact written a riddle, on the last page of this diary, I solved it” exclaimed the professor pointing to the diary.

“But before I could even gather anything about it, the Professor suffered from a Heart Attack. I ran out of house calling for help but by the time I got a help was no more. Leaving behind his notes, Andrew Hobart’s Diary and the unsolved riddle of the treasure.”

“I still have the Diary of Andrew Hobart and his notes but all these years I could never understand it” said Karsan Kaka remorsefully.

I was dumb founded by this revelation of Karsan Kaka. I could not mistrust him this time as I actually saw the diary and notes. May be the treasure was waiting for me to be found. The diary’s last page had the letters inscribed.

“The full moon light and the Crown so Bright, no water of the sea but a stream from ravine    in the sultry  vault of the equine, leads to the steps beneath boulder, to lay finger on mammon remove the solder ”

I kept on wondering what could be the answer to the riddle but I never got an idea. I even thought that may be at least once; even I should give a try to the treasure hunt. I had to convince kaka and Kripal for they thought it could be dangerous but I could never take that thought out of my mind.

Although I was busy in my own world of office yet returning to home and sitting with Karsan kaka was always great. Kripal and kaka were my family in Mumbai, my home was a place where I could relax and enjoy. After all it was my place my little own world, my treasure.

Pass And Agrregate:Chapter 12 Dream and Nightmares

Chapter 12: Dreams and Nightmares 

Dreams do not necessarily become reality and I was not late in realizing this. Within a few days after reaching Bombay I got to know the real face of Bombay or Mumbai as it is now called. The city Bombay is very different from Delhi. At times it appeared so lively and at other times it seemed to be so numb. Each person was engrossed in their life rarely bothering or interested in someone or something else. The colossal crowds enthralled and captivated my imagination yet I was bored of this hypnosis. I eagerly wanted to return to Delhi but I was here to prove myself and I had to.

Survival in Bombay is not at all easy. Everyone wants to become part of this city yet few actually become. The local trains almost killed me with an over excessive crowd and the long distances made me dog-tired. Initially I had to put up with my uncle till I get a decent place to live, but even before that I had to get articleship at a firm.

I made frequent rounds of few prospective firms. While moving from pillar to post I came to know of the concept of BIG 4. These are high profile firms and an articleship from these places can prove instrumental in achieving greatness and immortality at least in the CA circles. You become Wealthy and Wise if you could add them to your resume. But these firms, the so called elites of our profession had strict selection criteria. They either relied on the number of attempts at each level or any reference from some worthy individual. But I had nothing; neither a good score, many attempts and no references. A person taking more than one attempt was not usually welcomed. But I fail to understand their criteria, for according to me higher the number of attempts more would be the knowledge (after all reading something for more than once would increase the knowledge).

All these firms had stylish names and  foreign connection e.g. Price Waterhouse Coopers, Delloite, Ernst & Young etc etc. unlike their local Indian counterparts which always boasted the various permutations and combinations of funny names or even funnier surnames of the partners. As the readers would have guessed I never got to see the doors of THE BIG 4.

I got the articleship in D&G although it appears as the world famous brand of ‘Dolce & Gabbana’, it stood for Desai and Gupta. It was a good firm considering the fact I did not get selected.

My interview was taken by Paritosh Patel. Interview was funny I was hardly able to understand Mr. Patel not because I found the questions difficult but because of the fact that his voice was really shrill and his English which was disaster. Yet he was so found of the language that he never and mind you never would speak in any language except English. He selected me in the interview I thought I was lucky but actually he selected all the 5 people who appeared for the interview. I guess no one wanted to join them.

My office was in Nariman Point and it was not that far from my uncle’s place. My first day at office was not exceptional but yes it was eventful. At the reception I was welcomed by Geeta, the receptionist, she looked like a vamp of some stupid Saas-Bahu serial and in due course I realized she was a real life vamp too.  But without revealing her villainy now I would stick to guided tour of the office.

The office was full of small & by small I mean really small cubicles where everyone had a work area where nothing except huge & by huge I mean really huge pile of papers were lying. Then I was taken to meet the boss Mr. Alok Gupta (although the name was not scary but the boss was). He was this really big gigantic guy and had the most sarcastic smile in the world. With his brusque physique and garish mannerisms he appeared to me Gabbar Singh and the whole office as ravines of Chambal. The office hardly had female populace, only Geeta at the reception and Tripti, one more articled clerk, a senior of mine, represented Basanti.

I was given this very small area near the coffee vending machine; this area was always surrounded by people. Initially I felt skeptical but then I became accustomed to it. Within an hour I was given the work of vouching, to all those who fail to understand the term it like playing the role of a teacher who checks your paper the only difference we use an inverted sign of tick. That day I was made to do vouching the full day and I kept on doing it for consecutively for many days.

The lunch hour was exciting; I went out with Kripal and Samir. For all three of us it was the first day. Samir suggested that we should have Thali at The MLA’s hostel canteen. The MLA’s hostel had a great canteen and the food there was not very expensive albeit for MLA’s it was almost free unlike rest of us. The canteen was almost a kilometer away from our office; by the time we came back we were late by 10 minutes. Few minutes after reaching the office we were called by Mayank Suri, he was the left hand of Gabbar, and we realized it soon that our journey in this office would not be as simple as it appeared. A warning was issued to us regarding the time limits of the office. We should reach the office at 10 a.m exact and then the lunch break at 1:30pm which was only for half an hour and the office closed at 6p.m.

Having warned us of the dire consequences of unpunctual behavior we were given instructions about the do’s and don’ts of the office. Mayank Suri was an un-identical clone of Mr.Alok Gupta. They were almost similar except for their appearances. They had a mutual admiration society, (Suri as we called him at his back, was the biggest sycophant of Gupta). To me the office now appeared as a suffocating place but at least I started my articleship, I thought. But before I could rejoice my articleship we were told by the administrative staff the whole lengthy procedure in which we had to fill our articleship forms.

The first day was now nearing its end; I was exhausted and wanted to reach home. I started winding up at 6, but then I had to say bye to Suri before I could leave. I never thought how long it can take to say a simple bye. But that day I realized we should never underestimate anything even a bye. Suri said he was busy and that I had to wait for him, he made all the new articles wait till 6:45 in the evening and for the next 15minutes we were given another sermon about discipline.

Beginning at 7:02 from office and reaching Churchgate by 7:47, I boarded the train at 8:04, and reached my uncle’s house at 8:50. Many of you might be thinking about the timing details that I letting out right now but it functions this way. Every minute is important and every minute pays. All the dreams of having an independent life were transforming into the nightmares of my lonely existence in this swarming yet solitary city.