Pass and Aggregate Chapter 5:Regret

Chapter 5: Regret

Fine! Nothing was going to be fine ever. Shekhar committed suicide that night. No one told me. I was half asleep when next morning my mother broke the news about his death. It was flashed on all the news channels. My sleep disappeared. I still cannot forget the face of the news reader who in a very insensitive way said in colloquial Hindi “Marnewala 21 saal ka ladka Shekhar Batra, shayad sandigdh tor par Gay tha….” Those words still pierce me,I don’t think they could have mean more sleazy, they kept on repeating as if he was some criminal, had it been some other person I would not have been bothered, but he was Shekhar, my friend, so what if he was gay, no I am not advocating for anything all I meant was a respect for the person who was dead and gone. I could not control myself, I was crying. I got ready to leave for his home but my mother told “Why are you going, he was a gay and there would be police!!!!” “So what, I don’t care, he was my friend!” I exclaimed. I was in no mood to listen her, all I could think was about the last day when we met, I could have helped him, he died because no one had time for him, he died because I let him die.

When I reached his home I saw his parents, to me it was the most painful scene. His mother had lost her sense, his father was standing motionless, and his younger brother was looking at his corpse in utter disbelief. His family had no words only tears. There were not many known people at his home, only 2 or 3 relatives, police and media. No friends, no acquaintances. A person who was always surrounded by a mob was so alone in his last journey. Few times even our shadows leave us in our journey of life, he was alone there. I was his killer, had I tried to listen him he would have been saved. I could not even give him a part of me, my time. To me this place was a torture and every moment spent there was killing me.

The police saw me and asked me about him “Did you know about his sexual orientation? When did you last meet him? What kind of friendship you had…..” they continued for about 40 -45 minutes but to me it appeared in years. Later cam e the media wolves, they hounded me for another hour. I was exhausted. By that time it was time for Shekhar to start his last journey, it was anguishing to see him like that, I kept on praying to God so that some miracle happens and he lives again. But person who leaves for that world can never come back. His cherubic face was haunting me, he lay there motionless. His mother started kissing him fervently. She begged all of us not to take him; when I lifted him on my shoulder I whispered to him “Sorry Buddy”, I could have saved him. It is not easy for a father to lighten the pyre of his son. I could see uncle crying. All their hopes got burnt in that pyre. Shekhar left everyone………

Life teaches us so many things but at times even death can teach few things. I learnt that lesson after loosing someone so special that I hope such a lesson is never taught to anyone. We keep on deferring things, we take people and relationships for granted and we loose them; this incident had made me resolve never to push back things. Tomorrow never comes. I was scared of morbid death; life was not going to be same again.

I came back home from the crematorium. My mother was upset, she asked me to take bath as I return from the house of death. She thought I would become pure after taking a bath but I was tainted permanently. Nothing could clean my soul. In my bathroom I started the shower, but the images during the day kept coming to my mind, I sat there and I howled, I kept on washing myself , I could see blood on myself. I was suffering like Lady Macbeth. I remained there for a time unknown, and then I slept. In my dream I saw Shekhar; he kept on talking to me as if nothing happened, but when I tried touching him, he disappeared. I woke up next morning at 9. My mother was sad to see me like that, she came and sat near me. I put my head in her lap and told whatever was inside me, even she cried with me.

The guilt inside me could not go; I often visited Shekhar’s home to meet uncle and aunty and his younger brother Shashank. I vowed that I would always stand by them like Shekhar did. The police inquiry revealed that he was blackmailed by few people about his sexual preference and he committed suicide rather than taking his parents into confidence. His dad told me that though he disagreed with Shekhar on his life style and choice of profession but he would have never let his son die, had he knew about this. Even I confessed him about our meeting. He was not upset about my confession but said we have to accept the decision of the almighty. Till this day I often feel bad, how would have Shekhar felt all throughout, he suffered silently and silently he passed away.

With time even I healed a bit, I had to prepare for my college exams for which I was relaxed earlier but later I picked up the pace. After Shekhar’s death I did not met Shruti for a very long time, then both of us were busy in our exams so we decided to meet after exams. In all these days I made a new friend, she was extremely supportive and sensitive. I am talking about my mother, I rediscovered her, as a friend.

Pass and Aggregate:Chapter 4:College And Beyond

Chapter 4: College and Beyond

Life changed after first year of college, I had to fulfill the promise I made to dad but I never over burdened myself. I took Math tuitions from a teacher who was a Mathematics Professor at a reputed Institute. He made my concepts very clear. Along with Karan I jointly studied other subjects for CA exams which were 6 months later. I also started enjoying my college.

I met Sagorika Bandopadhya, apart from being a talent pool she was a very sweet girl. She was the secretary of Cultural events of our college and senior of mine. Every community of India has some inherent talents the Bengalis are good at theatre and singing. No offences to my Bengali friends, but a few of them are not that good but of course they have the Bengali tag. Sagorika was a decent singer but her acting was far better than her singing. One might think how can I judge some thing that is quite alien to me but in fact I had learnt Carnatic singing from none other than U.Sudha Iyer. You may not know about this singer but she was one of the best singers that our country would have boasted of, had she not settled in matrimony with I.Vaidyanathan Iyer, (those who still cannot make out, I am talking about my parents). My mother was a very good singer and I inherited my singing talent from her. Sagorika knew my talent and often asked me to sing in college competitions but I always declined.

Once I was sitting idle in the college canteen and enjoying the aroma of filter coffee, when she saw me and said “Adithya, come with me, I have some work for you”. I just could not deny her, after all she was my senior at B.Com and I had to take my 2^nd year notes from her, I followed her. She brought me to the grounds of our college; there I saw the theatre group preparing some street play. She brought me there and introduced me to Prakash Ranjan, head of theatre group, named as ‘Endeavor’. It sounded like some MBA coaching class and he appeared as a head the class. He said “hello.” I found him rude, I was wondering why I was brought here. Sagorika said “Actually if you are free why don’t you join their group and help them in composing songs for their stage play, you will be given attendance, whenever you drop a class for them.”In real sense I had no options, I had to take notes and composing music won’t take up much time so I agreed. The theatre group gave me the lyrics and told me to give some tune to the songs. They were doing a musical play on ‘Abhigyan Shakuntalam’. Although Carnatic music and the music as required by the songs of ‘Abhigyan Shakuntalam’ were no way comparable yet a basic knowledge of music was more than enough. Now I had some work other than studying. When I composed all the songs I went to them, they were very pleased with the songs. I rehearsed the songs with the group for many days. I enjoyed working with the theatre people, but still I was not too much involved with them. Once when the play was ready and they had to perform in some fest at the North Campus they invited me, although I was reluctant to go earlier but Prakash and Sagorika almost kidnapped me and took me along.

The play was staged and our play won the second prize, every one at Endeavour was happy. Even I was, I don’t know some how even I felt attached to that group. While coming out from North Campus I met Shekhar. He was an old friend; I was meeting after a long time. Shekhar said “you Moron, where were you, idiot????” I was meeting Shekhar after the last day of 12th Boards Exam. When we were in school, he was one of my close friends and partner in crime on many occasions, but after exams he shifted from Mayur Vihar, we just lost contact. He had joined some rock band, for his band he was ‘Shake’, he invited me to his rock band performance at his college St’ Stephens the following day. Hearing the venue of the performance, a concoction of thoughts swarmed me, I thought may just for the sake of venue I should attend the performance.

On next day I reached St’ Stephens, the crowd was colossal and vigorous, I enjoyed the rock band’s performance, although I can never understand why these people behave in certain weird fashion, they have a weird sense of dressing and even weird singing and dancing style. When I was young I used to make senseless songs and most of these rock bands are still in their childhood. While I was returning home Shekhar introduced me to Shruti Sharma, his classmate. She was beautiful, extremely polished, she was like ‘Simi Garewal’, poised, pretty, elegant, if I don’t put a full stop here I can continue talking about her, I might end up composing ‘Shruti Chalisa’. I was dumbstruck to see her. My heart skipped a beat when she said “hey, even I am on my way to east Delhi, can I drop you”. Suddenly violins and Guitars started playing in my mind, the busy and crowded road of the University appeared lovely. Though it was early winter, my heart was in midst of spring. I know for you all who have not been in love this might sound stupid but for me it was pure bliss, I was in love…………………………………..

Shruti Sharma, I liked everything about her except her surname, ‘Sharma’ is one of the most common surnames in India. At times I feel pity at the surname; I mean it is the one of the most vulnerable and exploited surnames. The advertising people have misused it, all Sharma households don’t have insurances, their house is in bad condition, the paints have started peeling off, they have been looted, even the color of the uniform of their school going child appears in some shade of yellow and so on and so forth. I pity the surname ‘Sharma’; in fact if I fight an election I promise to give quota to the people using this surname, believe me they deserve it.

Ok enough about the pitiable conditions of Sharma Households across India I am back to ‘Shruti Nama’. She was intelligent enough to take my number. She asked me “so are you a Madrasi?” In usual circumstances I hate this question, since neither all south Indians are Madrasi (the way usually all north Indians think of us) nor all Tamilians are Madrasi (that is a fact). I just nodded my head and replied “nopes I belong to this beautiful and famous place called Rameshwaram”. She knew nothing about it, but does that matter! She was impressed by me; we talked regularly and met occasionally.

On studies front CA exams approached again, this time I was more confident than the last time. November is far more ideal to give paper than May, the weather is pleasant, the hullabaloo is less and time is energizing. After having a look at Maths paper I was relaxed, but suddenly an hour later I was confused and scared, abruptly I became fidgety and in no ways I thought I could write any further, all because of that stupid girl sitting in front of me. She took a supplement just after half an hour of exam commencement, “how could she do that? We have 24 pages in the main sheet before we have that extra sheet” I said to my self, she also took log tables of which I had no idea where could one use it. According to me, we as humans are more interested in knowing what is happening in others world, we by birth are the Peeping Toms, I was stupid to think about her supplement, may be I should have thought that she is doing some stupid stuff but I thought I am a looser. As a result I became edgy, just in time I completed the paper and started praying to God.

Finally exams got over and results were near. I would not be wrong if I say results are scarier than exams. In between I met Shruti a lot of times and on once such occasion I just blurted out that I loved her. I said it in a very cliché and monotonous way but she started laughing, I considered myself to be the dumbest person on the face of earth, I prayed to God, that Earth should take me inside itself, the way it did to ‘Sitha’, or some lightning should strike me then and there. But to my astonishment she replied assertively, I was shocked I had a girlfriend. I never thought it would be that simple, to have a girlfriend like Shruti, I mean it was Mission Impossible which was now a reality. The night she said yes, I called up Karan, Ankit and Sakshi. Though Karan and Sakshi were fine with it, Ankit told me “He dude! Watch out! I don’t thing she is the right girl for you.” On one of the occasions when I met Shruti, Ankit was with me and he never really liked her, may be that was the reason of his disagreement. But I was madly in love with Shruti and to me no voice that was against her could be heard. We often talked to each other till the dawn, to me she was sweetest.

My results came out and I passed, lady luck was smiling at me. My father was so happy with my result that he announced a gift for me, a brand new bike that I yearned for. Just two days after my result I got my bike. The day I got the bike we went to the Guruvayur temple in our neighborhood, though I was not a frequent visitor at the temple but taking my brand new bike was something different. My mother prayed at the temple and splashed the kumkum and flowers on my bike. I was so excited, I thought in my mind now I am an inch closer to become a CA, I have a bike and a girlfriend, life was picture perfect. I was day dreaming of riding the bike with Shruti, when my father told me that I had to pick my younger sister from IIT. All dreams were shattered, my maiden voyage and that too for bringing that Giraffe home, think about it, terrible.

While driving I kept on thinking about Shruti, the Delhi’s polluted air was like a fragrance to me now. When one is in love even the most stupid thing looks beautiful, and I was experiencing it, to me even the red lights reminded of red roses. After that beautiful ride I reached IIT, Delhi which was like being in labyrinth, I had no clue how to get to my sister’s hostel. It is a weird place; they had few geometrically unusual cemented structures that were spread over the entire campus. Finally I found my sister and brought the monster home.

Akshya spied on me and soon found all about Shruti, and then started an unending blackmail. I am sure she would have never thought of telling anything to my parents, who were, though not conservative but belonged to a different era but still she was able extract some favors out of me all the time.

With Shruti I was going great, but at times I was upset with her. Although I never told this to her, the fact that she was taking me for granted and at most of the times, there was hole in my pockets for the coffees we shared and gifts I gave her. When ever I met her with her friends she was a different person. I was now becoming a jester for her group, but I thought it is just a phase and will pass. At other times we enjoyed each other, I liked walking in the Mughal Gardens, but she thought that Connaught Place was a better option, we had disagreements but those were minor tiffs which we ended by sharing ice cream at Nirulas.

Once while I was waiting for her in her college canteen, I met Shekhar, he was tired and while talking, his self esteem was no where to be seen. We were talking like this after ages. He was feeling low, I kept on asking him the reason but he was very upset. I thought may be he fought with his dad because his dad was an army man and he wanted Shekhar to be in army like him but he wanted to become a painter or a musician. He kept on asking me to come with him for a walk, seeing him I agreed but then Shruti came. We had to go for a movie that day, she was upset when I told her about the change in plan, she was literally screaming on me. Shekhar heard that, in fact any one in Delhi could have heard her yell; her decibel was at the peak. In our 3 month relationship it was for the first time I felt like shouting at her but Shekhar then insisted that we go for the movie, I kept on refusing but he said we will discuss it the next day. I agreed and told him that I would come to his college, the next day for him only. We left him at the table near the canteen. I said him “Take care and relax, everything would be fine.”

Pass And Aggregate : Chapter 3: First year in College

Chapter 3: First Year in College

V.ADITHYA IYER. After filling my name in CA form I wondered how many days later I would become a CA. (I should have thought in years or decades). My doing this course had one positive impact that now for once in my life I was not considered as looser. All of a sudden my relatives started talking to me as if I am something big. I just enjoyed the attention I was receiving, although I had not even given the paper of PE-I (Professional Examination-I, the entry stage of CA Course). In this stage we had to appear for four papers and after clearing it we reach the second stage (it sounded easy) and all this while doing graduation I thought it was fun.

Having secured admission in DU and getting admitted in CA Course, life was fully secured, it appeared to me that all the turmoils of my student life are over and now I should concentrate in getting myself a bike, a girl friend and CA degree. Within few months I realized that getting any of these things is not easy.

First day at college was fun, we had fun ragging sessions. I liked the college, there I came across Bobby Chaddha, a bully at my school in seventh grade, I was hesitant when he approached me, I almost tried running but some how my flightdom could not happen, he caught hold of me. At 6 feet he was 4 inch taller than me he and without really criticizing his looks honestly he appeared to me as some clone of ‘Kumkarana’. I was scared of him; actually he was responsible in advertising my zero marks to the whole class in unit tests. Later he left the school and to me those were the best years of my life. But now Bobby Chaddha was a different person he was happy to see me and at the second meeting he apologized for his behavior, though I never became his friend but still we had this ‘hi,hello’ relationship. I made few friends, Karan, Sakshi, Ankit. Though I could not having a large pal circle, few people from my CA coaching were good, I liked talking to them but I never over indulged with them. College was fine, I tried attending all classes. I got up early in morning went to my coaching in east Delhi then attended my college in South Delhi and then back to home in Mayur Vihar (The heart land of South Indians in Delhi).I was a golf ball being thrown off from one end of Delhi to the another end. Also travelling in DTC or Blue Line (The killer Bus of Delhi) during peak hours is the worst thing that you can do to yourself, I feel pity for the girls who travel by these modes for them it is even more difficult (I don’t know why these Human Rights Activist do not raise their voice against these buses, almost everyday we are stuffed in buses the way Nazi’s stuffed the concentration camps). By the time I reached home I was dog-tired. I had no clue what I was studying and why! The daily routine took a toll on my health and mind, within few months I was exhausted and I stopped my coaching class. Although my parents were against my decision, they were furious but I just could not tolerate it any further. I had Maths as one of my subject and I dreaded it so much. I still do not know why they have kept Maths in CA; how does integration or differentiation helps in accounting I still have no clue. I slugged for hours studying. My first year of college was uneventful, I had no interest in social activities of my college and obviously I started loosing all my social contacts. Most of my friends got admission in North Campus I was alone in my group who was at South Campus and I started developing a complex. I don’t know why was I behaving in a strange manner in literal sense I became socially outcaste.

On other hand at my house, my sister who was preparing for IIT, the usual crappy stuff, was being pampered by my mother. I never mentioned about her earlier but yes she was there to irritate me as always. She was the last breed of dinosaurs existing without any signs of extinction in near future. She was named by me as ‘Akshya –Sauras’. I was her elder brother (though only a year and a half elder) but she behaved as if I was younger to her. Dad never allowed me to hit her but she left no day without hitting me or taunting me. She thought that she has all rights to touch my stuff without my permission and she is real owner of my possessions. I often thought it would have been nice to have a dumb sibling rather than to have one who behaves like a super-computer.

From the month of March we had a curfew in our house, no TV, no music, no outings, no internet. Even my college exams date sheet was out; my mother insisted that both of us should get up before the sunrises, in ‘Braham-mahurata’. Akshya got up at four in but I never managed to leave my bed before 5:30, that too when my mother shouted her lungs out. Akshya studied like any thing I was sure she would make it to IIT and that day would end me, no do not think other wise but if you have a real intelligent sister to whom you are constantly compared , you feel so dwarf. It was a abuse that I was bearing from the beginning, she was intelligent, she was talented and above all darling of our household.

Finally came the months of April and May and a Marathon of our exams started, Akshya was giving IIT, AIEEE, Tamil Nadu Engineering , UPTU…….,etc etc, and I had my graduation papers along with CA papers back to back. My parents were exhausted to the core.

I was very nervous on the day of my maths paper, I had selectively prepared for the exams, Akshya tried teaching me Math but I as an elder brother never liked to be told and taught. At times ego can kill you and I came to know of it when I saw the paper.

The paper appeared to me as if it was written in some ancient language may be Pali or Prakrit. I could not decipher what was being asked, the only question I knew were from permutation and combination and a bit of statistics. I still took three hours in decoding the words, many people will not believe if I say there were words which I was reading for the first time in my entire life. I came across a word in Stat section which was ‘Chi-Square’ and I jokingly said to my self that this is some Feng-Shui paper. At last those three hours ended.

After all the papers got over and colleges got closed I was relaxed. I met my old friends and I realized that some how I was stupid at not meeting them. I got reenergized and promised myself I will enjoy this year irrespective of my result.

Result of IIT came out and as expected my sister scored 396 AIR, it was a celebration time at our house but that was short lived I got 50% in graduation and could not clear my CA exams, I got 21 out of 100 in maths, rest all subjects I got more than 55 which was not bad. I called up Karan; he was my friend in college and was giving CA exams with me. I asked him about his result hiding my sorrow “Dude how is the result??I am sure you would have cleared it.” “No” he replied and continued “I passed in all the papers but could not make it in aggregate” .Those who are unaware, should be told about this strange ritual in CA exams, we have to pass by getting 40 marks in each paper and in aggregate we should score 50%. My father did not utter a single word, his silence and stillness was killing. I tried talking to him but in vain. My mother was horrified, she told me that I was responsible for my father’s Blood Pressure and I am solely bringing bad name to the family of V.Subhramaniyam Iyer, my great grandfather. He was highly educated and a fredom fighter and made a name for himself in the pre-independence era. He died leaving behind a legacy of goodwill which all his kids and grand kids and great grand kids had to fiercely protect. I was not a pick pocket, neither I was involved with drugs and mafia nor I was in politics and therefore till date I do not know how would I bring bad name to the family but I never utter a word while my mother did a scolding session with me.

Late at night I went to my father, he was sitting on the traditional arm chair, he was obviously upset, I bended on my knees and kissed him and declared “Appa (usually I call him papa or dad but when I get emotional I address him that),I am sorry I have let you down, but now onwards I will study and I would not let you down”. He said “Adithya………..I trust you”. That was it, but something was unspoken, I understood it. I had to prove myself.

Talking to mother was not difficult after all the serious stuff she said to me, her temper came down, as far as my sister is concerned she took admission in IIT, Delhi, poor me I thought she should have gone to Mumbai, or Chennai or some place where I would have to meet her once in six months but she was 25kms from the house would be there on all weekends.

After the debacle, I was sitting in my room and thinking about the reasons behind my failure and suddenly my sister appeared and sat besides me, she began “Anna” (Anna! I don’t remember when she last spoke to me like that but when emotional, I and my sister behave very oddly) “I know some day you will be the most successful person. Love u Anna”. I had no words. Sometimes you get soothing words from the most unexpected people and those moments are path breaking emotional moments of life time. Even I got emotional with her. Kind words can alter few things in life.

Pass and Aggregate Chapter 2: Destiny

Chapter 2 Destiny

“Destiny does not favor him to take up science; he may opt for commerce” said the astrologer after looking at my horoscope.

My mother was hugely disappointed. All sons and daughters of my Uncles and Aunts were in Science stream. They all were destined to be Engineers and Doctors unlike me. I fail to understand this irresistibility we Indians have towards Science. For most of the people who take up science it is more of peer pressure and lack of knowledge of other options rather than their love for the subject.

“Can’t we do some KalSarpdosham Nivaran, and get rid of the problem” suggested my mother. “Yes we can try; before his results come you need to get done Sarpdosham Nivaran. All you have to do is to get two snakes, of small ringlet size made of gold and then Adithya should offer it to Yamuna, the Holy River”.

Looking at Yamuna of Delhi the word Holy would be last word to describe it

“Is that all” inquired mom. “I would suggest few other measures also, so that the probability of him getting good marks increase. Also ask him to feed the Cow with greens and you madam observe the fast on every Wednesday for lord Ganesha’s blessing for your son. Rest as the almighty wishes”

My mother is a staunch believer in astrology; she wanted me to become an IIT’ian. Though she was aware of my caliber as an average child, but these days parents are expecting too much from their kids. She even went to Bright Tutorials, FITJEE and inquired about Kota’s Bansal for me. But I was fully aware about my talent; I was in no mood to study science, why??? May be I was being imposed Science or may be Literature was my love. Any ways I was made to do everything as told by that phony astrologer, and then we all waited for the result.

My 10^th std board results were out. I got 80.6% .My house appeared as if some tragedy has struck. My mother was crying out loud. Neighbors and relatives kept coming and consoling my mother. I was relaxed and happy, this was the best percentage I secured after 6^th std and the best part was that the cut-off for Science in my school was 85%.

My mother still had hopes; she called my uncle in Coimbatore and asked whether any school would take me in Science. My uncle said he will try and arrange for me a boarding school at Mettupalyam which was a small town at foothills of Nilgiris. Some ray of hope came back to my mother. But I neither had the will nor the intentions of going to this place. I was brought up in Delhi and by this age I became a pucca Delhite, (I was more of Delhi Tamilian then Tamil Tamilian) I was not able to imagine my life in small town of Tamil Nadu. It appeared as a small speck in Atlas. The tune of ‘Malgudi Days’ started invariably in my mind “Than na na an nanaa…….” I was scared, at night I dreamt of huge cut-outs of Tamil politicians scolding me for not liking Science (after all this is the land of Ramanujan, of C.V Raman and many more).

Mother, after the assurance from my uncle was so happy that she started imagining me in IIT and then IIM and then THE USA. The only option left was to talk to my father and convince him. My dad was working in the Ministry of Finance; he is a rational fellow and always tried listening what others said. I never thought he would be easily convinced of my not going to Mettupalyam but he was convinced and he told “Okay you need not go”. And then all of a sudden I felt writing a book on him but that feeling was short-lived, he attached a disclaimer. He told me that he was not very convinced of my taking English Literature and wasting my time in reading Keats and Shakespeare. I told him that I will seek admission in St’Stephens (the best college of India), but he thought that was a college where snobs studied and I would waste my time there. He said he had a talk with Mr.Gupta our neighbor who was a Chartered Accountant that I should opt for commerce and the take up CA. I was not convinced as I thought this profession comparitively unheard of, I mean when would you see a 10-11 year old child saying I want to become a CA, certainly never, but I thought this is certainly better than going to Sri Amrithananda Boarding School at Metupalyam.

I settled for commerce because that was the middle path. I thought that I would study hard and after my 12^th would appear for the entrance test at St’Stephens. Also, I would convince my dad by that time. Though my Mother was not fully convinced but after speaking to some distant relative who was a CA at Chennai she thought that it would be good for me take up commerce, and yes of course she recollected the words of the astrologer.

First day at school was funny, it was the same school the same friends but there was something which was not the same. We had three sections one for arts, second for commerce and third for science and we were made to assemble at the grounds as per our subjects. I was thrilled to meet a lot of old friends. We were quite busy filling up our forms for internal choice of subjects (for me it was Choice between Maths and Computers, I took computers for Maths was not my cup of tea or coffee).

In a commotion of filling forms I heard Pankaj Rai an old batch mate and the biggest rascal of the School saying “Oh! These Commercians they don’t know how to make a straight line, obviously they are non-science or nonsense, hahahah”. I felt like slapping him hard but the fact of the matter was that the people who took up science behaved oddly. These were the fellows with whom I have studied till 10^th , I was confused initially but later on I get along with my breed; the ultra cool commercians and I gave a S**t of what these Sciencewala thought of us.

The lot in Commerce section was relatively new; many of the students were new to the school. The best part of being in commerce was that we had more girls than boys. The science section was jealous of us and we loved it.

As the year passed we got involved with our studies, we had so much to do. I loved studying Accountancy and Economics I merely loved it. I helped lot of my class mates to solve accountancy problems and yes most of them were girls.

My parents were now happy seeing me perform. And within no time we were on the verge of next board exams.

And soon three months got over and results got out. I got 86.5%. I was depressed this time; I scored more than 90% in all commerce subjects and merely 65 in English (My first love!!!). In Delhi University we have absurd criteria for college admissions, to calculate our marks; we need to take the marks of best four subjects, which include one language. And due to English my overall percentage took a beating. Earlier I thought if not St’Stephens, I will take up Commerce at SRCC and now I was struggling to get admission in the north Campus.

I filled up forms in South Campus also. My father thought that I was unnecessarily worried about the college as I should concentrate on becoming a CA, but at least North Campus was my wish. (It is not that the colleges in South Campus are bad, but I just wanted to get into North Campus).

Admission in Delhi University is not easy, people from all over India come flocking here. Also the weather during admission time is cruel. It was the most terrible time for the students, anxiety filled with perspiration is exhausting. We were made to fill innumerable forms and stand in serpentine lines. I had traveled so much in Delhi during those days that I would have become a tourist guide.

Finally the much hyped cut off list came out and I could not get admission in north campus. I got admission in Sri Venkateshwara College I was obviously sad(It was a very good college but look my journey from St’ Stephens---SRCC---North Campus to South Campus. My mother was happy, she thought that may be Lord Venkateshwara could help her son to achieve his goals.

But that was okay. Now all my dreams to become a literature professor was over and I dreamt of being as a CFO of some big MNC, I even imagined my cabin door, which had my name

V.ADITHYA IYER.

Pass and Aggregate Chapter 1: Convocation

Chapter 1.Convocation

Yes, today is THE biggest day of my life, it is. After all the years of cribbing, of working, of sweating, of hoping, of praying I am so close of getting it. Every minute seems to pass like an hour. My patience is running out. Having waited for so many years I cannot wait for a few minutes, it is strange.

Before the commotion starts I would like to introduce myself; I am V.Adithyaa Iyer and I am a Chartered Accountant. No it is not like saying “I am Bond, James Bond!” (Even James Bond cannot dream to become a CA), it is much more than that. Today is my convocation day and I am so excited to receive my degree in the Convocation function.

The Convocation function is a new thing to all of us in the Institute. This ceremony is newly introduced but hopefully I would be one of the earliest people to receive the degree at the function only if I could manage to beg, borrow or steal a blue blazer. No I cannot steal after all we are ethical people and are heavily bound by ethics we can steal clients but blazer nooooooo, a big no no. Borrow yes may be but I do not know what would be the charges; we are very professional when we come to lending and borrowing, so the option left is to beg!

“Please Pinkesh lend me your coat, I swear I will return it to you as soon as I get over with the ceremony and photo-op. Chalna yaar !!!!!!!!!!!”. I was almost or I was begging like a professional beggar. In ordinary circumstances I would never have asked this fellow “Pinkesh” to help me out, but alas extraordinary circumstances and extraordinary measures. Pinkesh was a character straight out from movies, so melodramatic, hyper and overtly sensitive and movie buff he was that I used to find him the most irritating fellow but he helped me. “Thanks Pinkesh bhai aap nahi hote toooo…”I said after getting the coat but he interrupted “Chal Chal ab rulayega kya???”I was about to say thank you and slightly change my opinion about him but he continued “bol kaunsi philim ka dialogue hai????” I almost came back to my senses. Without a word to him I tried wearing the coat but I forgot that Mr.Pinkesh Patel weighing at 45 –kg was like a pole used in gymnastics and I at 70Kg was just slightly heavier.

But as I said earlier extraordinary circumstances extraordinary measures I some how managed to get inside the coat, albeit in discomfort. My number was called and I managed to reach the stage and grab my degree. It was Oscar winning moment, I had a speech for this occasion, I was practicing the speech since so many days but the people at the Institute cannot give even 2 minutes to let our heart pour, may be they know Mumbai will face one more disastrous flood if they let us speak. CA is a profession which lets you inside easily but the exit is unknown. If Pinkesh would have been there, he would have said “Yahan log aate to aapni marzi se hain par jaate ICAI ke marzi se,hahahah” . But with Institute’s grace I survived. I am out, I am a Chartered Accountant.

The blazer while I was taking it out got a bit damaged, Pinkesh almost killed me but thank God he was called on stage to deliver a vote of thanks to Chairman and the President. I survived yet again.

The one good thing about ICAI is food, fairly edible. Apart from this occasion, where I loved eating the food, eating the institute was always on mind. Soon after the third Gulab Jamun and while thinking about the fourth one , a distant yet a familiar voice said “Hey Adithya”.I knew this voice, it was coming from the medieval ages of my life’s History, Rashmi Gupta. In short she was indirectly responsible for all the pain, agony and torture that I went through. Her dad, our neighbor in Delhi was a Chartered Accountant and he was the first one who suggested that I should be doing CA. And his darling daughter was directly responsible for the humiliation and the disgrace that I went through during this journey. She was a topper through out, she was my junior by three years but completed CA with me. She cleared all the CA exams in first attempt and myself being a laggard struggled through out. She got the best commerce college of DU and I was satisfied to get admission in the South Campus. Constant comparison with her only increased my hatred towards her . If only one word that I could use for her was B****!

“Hey Rashmi, in Mumbai convocation???Why is Delhi sick of you????”I said in my most sarcastic tones. “Oh Adie…thyyaa(I hate when she takes my name like that), Don’t you know I already got a job with SRT CORP a Singapore based company I am on my training in Mumbai, and you know what! My pay package would be……………….”.

Without attending the Campus Placement she managed to get the best job, what a pay package! but I will not tell you how much she made. No I don’t want to hide it but frankly that was a vulgar amount, a showoff, a consumerist attitude that she was patronising,for once I felt like joining the Communists. They are absolutely right about the inequality between the rich and the poor, the Gini-Co-efficient, the poverty ,the capitalists etc etc……….I was in no further mood to talk to this money stricken alien and I drifted away from her pool of self obsessed geeks who for some amount have done something that is bad; studies.

“So how was your campus?”Asked Samir. He is one of the friends I made in Mumbai. We completed our articleship together and he was always there in my thick and thins. He became CA last year and was a visiting faculty at the Institute. “I have no clue “I replied. “What are you sayin,u dumb a**,do u want to be stuck in that circus forever(don’t get carried away, he was referring to my office)”

I just nodded my head, (Campus…..was where I made several blunders and I was in no mood to reveal my one act play to my buddy).

“It was ok-ok types, no job was that exciting (as if I got many options)” I replied and continued “I got to leave, for the office, would call you in the evening and tell you in details what happened (I just lied)”

I went back to my house (that four walled, uninteresting and dull structure) .I still cannot understand how could I live in this place but I managed to live here for 4 years.

Lying on my bed I kept on thinking about my life. I was nostalgic about my whole journey. Such a strange journey full of ups and down, I don’t know why I wanted to become a CA,why I clung on to it despite repeated failures, was it my destiny????