Pass and Aggregate Chapter 1: Convocation

Chapter 1.Convocation

Yes, today is THE biggest day of my life, it is. After all the years of cribbing, of working, of sweating, of hoping, of praying I am so close of getting it. Every minute seems to pass like an hour. My patience is running out. Having waited for so many years I cannot wait for a few minutes, it is strange.

Before the commotion starts I would like to introduce myself; I am V.Adithyaa Iyer and I am a Chartered Accountant. No it is not like saying “I am Bond, James Bond!” (Even James Bond cannot dream to become a CA), it is much more than that. Today is my convocation day and I am so excited to receive my degree in the Convocation function.

The Convocation function is a new thing to all of us in the Institute. This ceremony is newly introduced but hopefully I would be one of the earliest people to receive the degree at the function only if I could manage to beg, borrow or steal a blue blazer. No I cannot steal after all we are ethical people and are heavily bound by ethics we can steal clients but blazer nooooooo, a big no no. Borrow yes may be but I do not know what would be the charges; we are very professional when we come to lending and borrowing, so the option left is to beg!

“Please Pinkesh lend me your coat, I swear I will return it to you as soon as I get over with the ceremony and photo-op. Chalna yaar !!!!!!!!!!!”. I was almost or I was begging like a professional beggar. In ordinary circumstances I would never have asked this fellow “Pinkesh” to help me out, but alas extraordinary circumstances and extraordinary measures. Pinkesh was a character straight out from movies, so melodramatic, hyper and overtly sensitive and movie buff he was that I used to find him the most irritating fellow but he helped me. “Thanks Pinkesh bhai aap nahi hote toooo…”I said after getting the coat but he interrupted “Chal Chal ab rulayega kya???”I was about to say thank you and slightly change my opinion about him but he continued “bol kaunsi philim ka dialogue hai????” I almost came back to my senses. Without a word to him I tried wearing the coat but I forgot that Mr.Pinkesh Patel weighing at 45 –kg was like a pole used in gymnastics and I at 70Kg was just slightly heavier.

But as I said earlier extraordinary circumstances extraordinary measures I some how managed to get inside the coat, albeit in discomfort. My number was called and I managed to reach the stage and grab my degree. It was Oscar winning moment, I had a speech for this occasion, I was practicing the speech since so many days but the people at the Institute cannot give even 2 minutes to let our heart pour, may be they know Mumbai will face one more disastrous flood if they let us speak. CA is a profession which lets you inside easily but the exit is unknown. If Pinkesh would have been there, he would have said “Yahan log aate to aapni marzi se hain par jaate ICAI ke marzi se,hahahah” . But with Institute’s grace I survived. I am out, I am a Chartered Accountant.

The blazer while I was taking it out got a bit damaged, Pinkesh almost killed me but thank God he was called on stage to deliver a vote of thanks to Chairman and the President. I survived yet again.

The one good thing about ICAI is food, fairly edible. Apart from this occasion, where I loved eating the food, eating the institute was always on mind. Soon after the third Gulab Jamun and while thinking about the fourth one , a distant yet a familiar voice said “Hey Adithya”.I knew this voice, it was coming from the medieval ages of my life’s History, Rashmi Gupta. In short she was indirectly responsible for all the pain, agony and torture that I went through. Her dad, our neighbor in Delhi was a Chartered Accountant and he was the first one who suggested that I should be doing CA. And his darling daughter was directly responsible for the humiliation and the disgrace that I went through during this journey. She was a topper through out, she was my junior by three years but completed CA with me. She cleared all the CA exams in first attempt and myself being a laggard struggled through out. She got the best commerce college of DU and I was satisfied to get admission in the South Campus. Constant comparison with her only increased my hatred towards her . If only one word that I could use for her was B****!

“Hey Rashmi, in Mumbai convocation???Why is Delhi sick of you????”I said in my most sarcastic tones. “Oh Adie…thyyaa(I hate when she takes my name like that), Don’t you know I already got a job with SRT CORP a Singapore based company I am on my training in Mumbai, and you know what! My pay package would be……………….”.

Without attending the Campus Placement she managed to get the best job, what a pay package! but I will not tell you how much she made. No I don’t want to hide it but frankly that was a vulgar amount, a showoff, a consumerist attitude that she was patronising,for once I felt like joining the Communists. They are absolutely right about the inequality between the rich and the poor, the Gini-Co-efficient, the poverty ,the capitalists etc etc……….I was in no further mood to talk to this money stricken alien and I drifted away from her pool of self obsessed geeks who for some amount have done something that is bad; studies.

“So how was your campus?”Asked Samir. He is one of the friends I made in Mumbai. We completed our articleship together and he was always there in my thick and thins. He became CA last year and was a visiting faculty at the Institute. “I have no clue “I replied. “What are you sayin,u dumb a**,do u want to be stuck in that circus forever(don’t get carried away, he was referring to my office)”

I just nodded my head, (Campus…..was where I made several blunders and I was in no mood to reveal my one act play to my buddy).

“It was ok-ok types, no job was that exciting (as if I got many options)” I replied and continued “I got to leave, for the office, would call you in the evening and tell you in details what happened (I just lied)”

I went back to my house (that four walled, uninteresting and dull structure) .I still cannot understand how could I live in this place but I managed to live here for 4 years.

Lying on my bed I kept on thinking about my life. I was nostalgic about my whole journey. Such a strange journey full of ups and down, I don’t know why I wanted to become a CA,why I clung on to it despite repeated failures, was it my destiny????